What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, known as EQ, recently has turned into a buzzword in our society. Some would argue that the process of growing your emotional intelligence takes a larger investment on your part than the growth of your IQ. So what’s the difference, you ask?
Intelligence quotient (IQ) is a score that is derived from standardized tests that gauge your ability to learn, process, synthesize, and apply information. It also tests your skills in subjects such as math, reading, spatial thinking, and logical reasoning. Emotional quotient (EQ), or emotional intelligence, is the awareness and processing of your own emotions as well as the emotions of others, in order to have a better understanding of meaning-making, facilitate thinking, and improve communication.
Components of Emotional Intelligence
You might be wondering, how is emotional intelligence measured? Good question! This is something that has been argued by researchers within the field of human behavior for many years, ever since the introduction of the idea of emotional intelligence. The person that is largely associated with the conceptual advancement of emotional development is Daniel Goleman. Despite emotional intelligence (EQ) being abstract in nature, it has 5 key components: self-awareness, self-regulation, internal motivation, empathy, and social skill (Goleman, 1995). Employees who display emotional intelligence can help create a healthy work environment and culture.
The five key concepts of EQ include:
Self Awareness: The understanding of emotions and their impact on yourself and other people. Once you develop this understanding, you can begin to draw connections between how you and others feel and behave. Not only does this help you better define your own wants and needs at work, but it also allows you to walk in the shoes of your coworkers to determine how you can best support them.
Self Regulation: The ability to process, mediate, and control your impulses, sensations, and emotions. When a stressful situation arises at work, it can be hard not to immediately act with anger or frustration. Practicing self-regulation allows you to take a step back, assess the situation, and respond in a way that will not hurt your relationships with your coworkers and managers.
Internal Motivation: An understanding of what sustains your motivation (i.e., passion, values), which in turn streamlines decision making and problem-solving. Although it can sometimes be tough to feel motivated at work, try to remind yourself how your work is helping you feel fulfilled. This can deter you from becoming apathetic and unengaged.
Empathy: The ability to sense other people’s emotions, attitudes, and moods. It is also the ability to “take on another perspective” as well as to open yourself up to what and why someone else might be thinking or feeling. Don’t get too caught up with deadlines and accomplishing tasks at work to check in with others. Practicing empathy enhances your relationships with your coworkers and can lead to increased job performance and satisfaction.
Social Skills: Goleman describes this as “friendliness with a purpose.” It is more than being personable. It is the ability to grow, maintain, and fulfill roles within a variety of relationships. Even though work is a place for you to be productive and meet the goals of your company, it is also a place where you form connections with your co-workers. Your coworkers are your teammates and you are all living a shared experience. Socializing with your coworkers can help everyone feel a sense of comfortability at work by assuring them that they are not alone and they can always come to you when they need to step away from their work for a minute to recharge.
Benefits Of a Higher EQ
So what are the benefits of growing yet another form of intelligence? Goleman argues that it improves relationships, communication, problem-solving, and likelihood of goal attainment. Being more aware of your emotions and those of others is positively correlated with self-growth (Balamohan et al., 2015) as well as management of perfectionistic tendencies (Badri et al., 2021). A higher level of EQ also was associated with better leadership skills and overall leadership effectiveness (Rosete & Ciarrochi, 2005), which can be instrumental if you are trying to move to the next step in your career.
Here’s the best benefit yet. EQ also is positively correlated with health and happiness (Abdollahi et al., 2015). You are more likely to experience happiness–which is associated with greater life satisfaction, richer social networks, increased hopefulness, and optimism–when displaying better emotional regulation and lower levels of stress, depression, anger, and anxiety. Ultimately, if you have higher levels of emotional intelligence, you will likely have more experiences of happiness inside and outside of the workplace. It’s ironic how happiness, whether it be with yourself or with others, is related to the effort and investment you put into growing the relationship you have with yourself as well as your level of awareness. Happiness and meaning exist within, rather than outside of yourself.
How Do I Grow My Emotional Intelligence?
Here is a list of ways you can improve your emotional intelligence:
Practice Active Listening: This comes down to the idea of listening to respond rather than to react. Next time you are having a conversation, challenge yourself to paraphrase the other person’s statements or emotions, prior to problem-solving or reacting. Ask them if you understand the entirety of their situation and their attitude or feelings around it.
Grow Your Understanding Of Emotions: Here’s a trick to get this one started. Google “emotional wheel.” The search should come up with a pin wheel of emotions, differing in color. Use this emotional wheel to better understand the depth of an emotion that you might be experiencing. What you first perceive as anger might actually be confusion. Noticing that difference, that depth, can guide you better in terms of asking for help or finding an appropriate coping mechanism.
Practice Self-Awareness: Begin to notice your environment, habits, activities, and routines and how they make you feel. By paying attention to your daily actions and how they make you feel, you are growing your emotional awareness. This, as we know, increases your chance to reach higher levels of enjoyment and life satisfaction.
Identify Your Coping Mechanisms: Notice your own personal spectrum of emotional intensity, and begin to match certain emotions, or emotional intensities, with specific coping mechanisms. Use a scale of 1-10 to help differentiate the intensity of the emotion. For instance, say your level of disgust is at a level 8. That will require a different set of coping mechanisms (e.g., breathwork, physical movement, visualization) than a level 4 (e.g., distraction, talking it out with a friend).
Identify Your Values: A great way to do this is by using a value card sort. It is an exercise that easily can be found through a quick Google search. It helps you to narrow down personal values that you want to live by or implement into your meaning-making system. This will help streamline choices, decisions, and emotions that you face, based upon whether or not this aligns with your core values.
The emotional intelligence muscle is something that has to be exercised in order to be maintained. It is a process, so please do not get down on yourself if this seems foreign, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable at first. Conquering the depth that exists within us is a lot harder, and takes a lot longer, than digesting a textbook or a course.
Scholarly Sources
Abdollahi, A., Abu Talib, M., & Motalebi, S. A. (2015). Emotional intelligence and depressive symptoms as predictors of happiness among adolescents. Iranian Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, 9(4). https://doi.org/10.17795/ijpbs-2268
Badri, S. K. Z., Kong, M. Y., Wan Mohd Yunus, W. M. A., Nordin, N. A., & Yap, W. M. (2021). Trait emotional intelligence and happiness of young adults: The mediating role of perfectionism. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(20), 10800. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182010800
Balamohan, P., Tech, M., & Gomathi, S. (2015). Emotional intelligence – Its importance and relationship with individual performance, team-effectiveness, leadership, and marketing effectiveness. Mediterranean Journal of Social Sciences. https://doi.org/10.5901/mjss.2015.v6n1p120
Goleman, D. (2005). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ (10th Anniversary ed.). Random House Publishing Group.
Rosete, D., & Ciarrochi, J. (2005). Emotional intelligence and its relationship to workplace performance outcomes of leadership effectiveness. Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 26(5), 388–399. https://doi.org/10.1108/01437730510607871
