Here’s the Situation
You just sat down to have lunch in the breakroom, at a table with a new coworker on your team. Your coworker says, “Can you believe the news about the President today?” Your heart starts racing. You don’t know what your coworker’s political beliefs are, and you don’t want to get into a conflict. But you also know that the news has been covering the President’s position on some policies that have an impact on your work, so it may be relevant to have a conversation. You begin to feel panicked.
Know that you are not alone if you experience anxiety when it comes to having a political conversation in the workplace. Political polarization is at an all-time high in the United States, and many people struggle with having conversations with others who have different political values or beliefs than they do.
How to Respond
You can use the CLARA method to help you have a productive dialogue with your coworker (Boundless Love Project, 2020). The CLARA method was designed to help people engage in and potentially de-escalate, difficult conversations.
1. Center
The first step is to center yourself and set an intention. Deep breathing can be a good way to center yourself and to help yourself feel more grounded. You then can set an intention for the conversation. You might decide that your goal is to understand your coworker’s perspective better.
If you are not comfortable with engaging in a conversation, don’t be afraid to let the other person know. It is okay to set a boundary, firmly and respectfully. To disengage, you may consider saying:
“It sounds like this is an important topic to you, which I understand. But I do not feel comfortable discussing politics in the workplace.”
If you are interested in having the conversation, but not at this time, you can say to them:
“I am interested in talking to you about this, but this isn’t a great time for me to do so. Could we schedule a time to meet up for coffee outside of work to discuss it more?”
PRO TIP! It is important at this stage to decide if this is the best time and place for a conversation. Consider the potential power dynamics, timing, and setting before proceeding.
2. Listen
If you decide that the timing is right, the next step in the model is to listen. Your goal with active listening is to understand what the speaker thinks, not to convince them to agree with your perspective. It is important, when you listen, that you use non-verbal clues to show the other person that you are paying attention to them, like nodding your head or saying “mm-hmm.”
3. Affirm
Next, you can affirm that you heard what your coworker said. But keep in mind that affirmation does not mean that you have to agree with someone. You might say to your coworker:
“What I hear you saying is [paraphrase what the person said]. It seems like we both care deeply about this issue.”
If there are areas about which you and your coworker have shared ideas, it can be helpful to name those.
“I agree with what you said about…”
4. Respond
At this point in the conversation, you can respond to your coworker and add in your perspective. It is important to avoid labeling or verbally attacking your coworker for their values, even if you disagree with them. Focus on sharing your own perspective, using I-statements like:
“I believe…”
“I think…”
“I read…”
5. Ask
Finally, you can ask questions to understand your coworker’s perspective better. Open-ended questions, in particular, are helpful for gathering information and leaving room for someone to share. You can ask your coworker:
“That’s interesting. Could you tell me a little more?”
Repeat
You can repeat the steps of the CLARA method as many times as needed. It is important to remember that we can have political conversations with our coworkers, even if we don’t agree with them. It also is okay to disengage respectfully from a conversation, if you do not feel comfortable. We can use communication tools to listen to others and seek to understand their perspectives. Often, when we do so, we find that we come to better understand ourselves as well.
Scholarly Sources
Schultz, J. (2020, October 1). Your complete nonviolent communication guide. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/non-violent-communication/
Boundless Love Project. (2020, September 24).The CLARA method of de-escalation. https://www.boundlessloveproject.org/news/2020/9/24/the-clara-method-of-de-escalation
